Surving your next flight

All the plane rides I’ve ridden so far have been pleasant. Maybe it’s just the optimist in me; I try to make the best out of the flight. Okay, it’s more like making the most out of my being anti-social and whipping out my book (and for future flights, Pinkies and camera) and ignoring the people around me.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky, but for future flights, I’m preparing for the worst.

Here are some tips to make your next flight better than your last (or at the very least, bearable):

From 12 tips for a better flight

Be a pessimistic optimist — or is it the other way around? Don’t expect every detail to go as planned. Delays, misconnects, and seat problems are just a few hassles associated with flying. It’s unusual to make it through an entire journey without something going wrong.

From How to fly happy

Bring a happy place. Carry a small photo collection with you, where you can go to focus on what really matters in life. Now that MP3 players have digital photo players on them, you can upload your favorite memories and listen to music at the same time.

From 10 tips for surviving the red-eye

Conquer death breath. There is nothing worse than yawning and almost passing out from your own breath, so put some powerful mints or a breath freshener in your pocket. Offer some to your seat neighbors, too.

From 50 tips from … you

• Cross-pack. On a cruise once, I watched one poor woman run the ship in a bathrobe for days because the airline had lost her luggage. Had she cross-packed with her travel companion, she would have had half the clothes she needed for the week.
• Take sanitary wipes or wet towels with you. You will always need to clean or disinfect something onboard.
• Pack a small toy or a bag of Goldfish or cookies in your carry-on — not for yourself or your kids to eat, but to quiet the screaming kid three rows back. Works every time and costs only pennies.
• Ladies and gentlemen: Don’t wear thong underwear. (Not that I would know, but I hear it has to do with uncomfortable creeping. Aren’t the men’s styles called “banana hammocks”?)
• Put your favorite wine in a water bottle so you don’t have to pay the outrageous price for the onboard wine that tastes like cat pee.
• Be nice to the check-in staff; it’s not their fault airlines are inherently evil.

And my favorite:

Ladies: Take the batteries out of your personal massagers; otherwise, the security search could prove quite embarrassing.